All of my 1:1 coaching programmes focus on both of these things – positivity and confidence – so I just had to include this blog post in my month of Creating Positivity.
Getting into a more positive mindset can help you to develop your confidence and that’s why I incorporate it into my programmes. It can really give you a different view of life.
Negative self-talk & a fixed mindset will bring your confidence down
Let’s unpack that for a mo, shall we?
The way you talk to yourself has a HUGE impact on your confidence. Why? Because it’s like having someone following you around, either berating you or telling you that you’re the best thing since sliced bread.
Can you imagine how you’d feel in either of those scenarios?
Your inner voice can really bring you down if you doubt yourself in any way. It can hold you back, stop you going for what you really want or make you feel as though you’re an imposter. But if you’re able to change what that inner voice says to you, you could be cheering yourself on and allowing yourself to speak up instead.
The negative things you tell yourself can be changed
When we tell ourselves the same negative things over and over, we strengthen that belief.
Repetition makes us adept at something, to the point where you do it on autopilot. Remember when you started learning to drive? It was scary at first but now you could drive home without a second thought. Repetition has made it become second nature to you.
It’s the same with your thoughts. If you always tell yourself you’re bad at maths, you’re always going to believe that.
Until you change it.
The amazing thing is that our brains can adapt and change. If we want to change our belief about something, it’s entirely possible to do.
You need to become aware of the way you talk to yourself and start digging deeper into why you hold certain beliefs. You can also use affirmations to change your attitude towards something. Instead of telling yourself, ‘I’m so bad at maths,’ try repeating ‘I am willing to learn more about maths,’ every morning. You’ll notice your attitude changing.
The positive growth mindset
This also helps you to break out of your negative fixed mindset and embrace a more positive growth mindset.
A person with a fixed mindset believes that everything is happening to them and they hold no control over their future. They see failures as setbacks and take criticism to heart.
We all have elements of the fixed mindset in certain areas of our life and we become trapped in the thinking patterns that society has taught us e.g. to favour natural talent over learned ability.
Bringing a positive growth mindset to the things you do is key. In a growth mindset, you realise that you are in control of your destiny and there are always new things to be learned. You don’t let criticism throw you off, instead you think about what you can learn from that experience.
Are you noticing any similarities in your own pattern of thinking?
Tip to take away:
Start getting out of your negative habits.
If the first thing you do when you wake up is check your phone in the morning, I’m not going to tell you to stop doing that (I do it myself!). But if you find yourself endlessly scrolling through social media, beating yourself up because you don’t look like an airbrushed model or reading the news, taking in all the negative stories about the state of the world, it’s time to review how you’re starting your day off.
When you go on your phone, try to do it with intention or set yourself a time limit. For instance, if you’re going to go on Instagram, tell yourself: ‘I’m going to check Instagram for ten minutes, and then I’ll get on with my day.’
Or if you’re a big news reader, tell yourself:’I’m going to check the headlines and bookmark things I want to read for later when I have half an hour to go through them.’
And if there’s anything you really feel is zapping your energy before the day has even begun, just hit that unfollow or unsubscribe button.
What will you be changing?